In today’s generation, building genuine friendships can be challenging. It’s often hard to determine who to trust and who has sincere intentions toward you. Many of us confuse the term “friend” with “acquaintance.” Establishing these boundaries early on is essential because people may overstep or expect too much from you. A real friendship should never feel one-sided, where you constantly have to pour from someone’s cup without reciprocation.

I appreciate how some “girly girls” interact with each other—correct me if I’m wrong, but they don’t seem to be jealousy unless it’s all for show. When they see a pretty girl, they compliment her, make you feel comfortable, and don’t act strange, unlike some of the so-called “baddies.” This dynamic creates an enjoyable atmosphere where everyone has fun, and maybe you might not even cross paths with them again. Unfortunately, many girls can be mean for no reason, especially towards other women. I’ve experienced this firsthand—some women will tear you down instead of lifting you up, and more often than not, it’s your friends who do this.

A tragic example is the story of Retabile, Winnie Khumalo’s daughter, who was allegedly poisoned by a close friend and had to undergo three operations. Her recovery is still uncertain, but it’s a stark reminder of how dangerous some friendships can be.

That said, not all friendships are toxic. Some friendships grow so deep that they become like family. These are the bonds worth nurturing because they are likely built on mutual respect and support. Still, you never truly know someone’s heart until they reveal their true nature.

Most friendships fall apart because of hidden intentions. If you find a real friend, treasure them and value the bond you share. Some girls aren’t genuinely your friends—they’re there for clout, hoping to use you to get attention, fill up their social circles, or use you to get a guy to buy drinks for them. That’s why it’s important to set expectations early on.

As women, it’s crucial to keep our circles small and filled with people who genuinely support us. As I’ve grown, I’ve realized that not every girl I meet is meant to be my friend. Some people come into your life for a season, while others are meant to stay a lifetime. Surround yourself with people who help you grow, who align with your values, and who uplift you spiritually.

We need to stop tearing each other down and instead support one another. Let’s open doors for women who need that help. Sadly, some so-called friends will betray you for personal gain, selling you out for material rewards. Peer pressure is dragging many of our girls down because they look up to the wrong people.

Always remain present in spaces where you are wanted and appreciated. Life is too short to worry about people who only use you for their own benefit.

Writer: Bontle Mogaone

Photographer: Adrian MacDonalds