Gender-based violence (GBV) is defined as violence against women, men, and children living within the same domestic units. It is heartbreaking to witness how pervasive this issue has become in our society today. GBV is something we encounter daily, and sadly, our justice system often fails us. Women, men, and children are dying or being admitted to hospitals because of abuse. Even more disheartening is that many victims are too afraid to speak out due to a society that often dismisses their suffering. We hear comments like, “She probably wants attention,” “She knew what she was getting herself into,” “She deserves it,” or “He’s not man enough.” These attitudes, coupled with corruption in the justice system—where police officers can be bribed, leading to cases being dismissed—create an environment where violence is tolerated and even perpetuated.

My mother was one of the many victims of gender-based violence. She endured years of being beaten and cheated on. She sought help from our extended family, but they couldn’t change the situation. Abuse, like cheating, can be addictive. I am proud of my mother for finally deciding to leave for her own sake and for the sake of her children. Many people in similar situations don’t leave because they are afraid to start over, some are in love and believe their abusers will change (a phrase that has become tiresome to hear), and others are trapped because their abusers have connections in the police force who can dismiss cases at will.

Recently, the situation involving Mihlali has sparked significant public debate. People have expressed a wide range of opinions, some supportive and others critical. Let’s not forget that every story has two sides—and then there is the truth. Being a content creator like Mihlali must be challenging, with every aspect of your life under scrutiny. Mihlali trended for allegedly breaking up Leeroy’s marriage, but it’s important to remember that Leeroy pursued her. It was also alleged that Leeroy is an abusive man, but Mihlali might have looked past it. Regardless of the scandals surrounding Mihlali, she does not deserve to be abused. No one does. I believe she shared her story with us as a way to show that she had reached her breaking point.

NO TO GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE. IT SHOULD NEVER BE CONDONED, COMFORTED, OR OVERLOOKED.

In my opinion, gender-based violence predominantly affects women. GBV takes many forms, including physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. Psychological abuse, in particular, is on the rise and has severe effects on mental health. I recently visited an Instagram page called WOMEN FOR CHANGE, and the stories shared there are truly disheartening. It’s painful to see what women endure. The situation is no better in workplaces, where married men prey on young women, sometimes 20 years their junior, simply to satisfy their desire for a ‘lekker 21-year-old.’ And let’s not forget the entertainment industry, where women—and men—are often preyed upon in exchange for career advancement.But I’ll stop here. It’s not my place to judge because, at the end of the day, we all have choices to make.

Dearest reader, what are your thoughts? Did you catch that?

Photographer: Adrian Macdonalds