Ladies, I think it’s time we give the guys some dating tips because, honestly, I’m tired of them getting it wrong. Let’s be real: I’d much rather a guy be upfront about his intentions from the beginning than take me out on a date, send mixed signals, and leave us in limbo without a clear direction. If all you’re after is a casual fling, say that upfront and let me decide if that’s what I want too. Stop wasting our time.

Let’s be honest—guys often get away with a lot. They’ll be patient until they get what they want, and then suddenly, everything changes. What he used to do for you, he no longer does. The effort fades, and you’re left wondering what went wrong. Ladies, don’t give in too quickly. Make him work for it—guys love the chase. (Wink, wink!)

1. Limit the Money Talk
Guys, stop bragging about how wealthy you are. We don’t need to hear about your houses, cars, or businesses on the first date. Instead, tell us about yourself—your values, what you’re looking for in a woman, your intentions, your goals, and ambitions. Are you a man of faith? Can you take charge and protect your future partner? Be genuine.

2. Don’t Talk About Sex on the First Date
Seriously, shut it down! I don’t want to hear about how big your private parts are or what you plan to do with them. That’s beyond inappropriate for a first date. Bringing up sex too soon is a major turn-off. Remember, if you bring up sex, don’t be surprised if the woman brings up money.

3. Don’t Only Talk About Yourself
If all you do is talk about yourself, it’s a huge red flag. It screams, “I’m full of myself and don’t care to know about you.” It’s giving off serious narcissist vibes. A healthy conversation involves both people sharing, so make sure you’re giving us space to talk about ourselves and our interests too.

4. Don’t Undermine Others
How you treat people in public says a lot about who you are. Checking out other women while you’re on a date with me? Major red flag. If I’m not your type, why ask me out? The way you carry yourself in public is crucial.

5. Don’t Be Too Touchy
Know your boundaries. Holding my hand is fine, but don’t overstep by trying to touch or squeeze other parts of my body. It’s not sexy—it’s a big red flag, especially on a first date. Take it slow and respect the fact that I’m still getting to know you.

6. Stop Talking About Your Ex
Bringing up your ex, especially in a negative light, doesn’t reflect well on you. We all know there are two sides to every story, so when you bad-mouth your ex, it makes me wonder—what will you say about me if things don’t work out? Keep the past in the past.

7. Don’t Suggest Meeting at Your Place for the First Date
This is a non-negotiable red flag. Why are we meeting at your place on a first date? It’s dodgy and sends the wrong message.

I’m sure there’s more to add, so let me know what you think, sis!

~ Bontle Mogoane

Photographer: Adrian MacDonalds